A NCIS Fairytale
by The Italian Peach
Summary: [TATE, Oneshot] Once upon a time, there existed a Prince Tony and a Princess Kate, and they fought...well...a lot.


Tateness…duh. It's sorta not really a parody. Not really. I don't specialize in parodies. This was just a random idea.

Disclaimer: Once upon a time, someone owned NCIS. Someone was not me.

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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived an arguing prince and princess. They fought daily and very rarely had a conversation with each other that didn't include a snide remark or sarcastic comment. The prince and princess were both very beautiful people, and it was Princess Abby (who lived close by)'s dream to see them fall for each other.

One day, the prince and princess were arguing over what color Princess Abby's hair _really_ was. Prince Tony said that it was naturally black because her eyes were dark brown. Princess Kate was sure that she was a redhead because the neighboring King Gibbs of Coffeeland had taken a shine to her, and he had a reputation for liking redheads. They were starting to advance into the "Throwing Pillows" stage when Princess Abby arrived to visit Princess Kate. She told the surprised royals that she was actually blonde, and her eyes were brown due to colored contact lenses.

This information silenced them until Princess Kate's maid arrived with afternoon tea. Prince Tony immediately sat down on what was apparently Princess Kate's favorite chair. That sparked another fight, one that was so vicious that neither noticed Princess Abby leave.

Back at her palace in Hinky Kingdom, Princess Abby was deep in thought. Prince Tony and Princess Kate were such a cute couple, and were definitely meant for each other. The question that remained was how to get them to see that. Taking a sip of her Caf-Pow, Abby scrunched up her nose in concentration. And then, the thought hit her. "Of course!" she yelled and jumped out of her canopy coffin bed, where she'd been thinking. Rushing over to her bedside, she picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hello?" she said into the receiver. "Yes, I'd like to rent a fairy godmother."

Moments later, a puff of purple smoke appeared in the center of Princess Abby's bedchamber. Out of it came a man dressed in a ballet tutu and sporting a pair of pull on wings. "Hi," he said, his voice meek, "My name is Tim and I'm going to be your fairy godfather."

Princess Abby cocked her head. "I thought I ordered a fairy god_mother_."

Tim squirmed uncomfortably. "Yes, well, the agency is running low these days, and I'm one of the backup crew."

The princess smirked. "As long as you can do what I need. Now, I want you to…"

Tim looked at her with a horrified face as she explained. "Are you sure? Those never work for long."

Princess Abby nodded. "I know. But I think this will work."

King Gibbs was holding a conference in his dining hall that night. Princess Abby made sure to arrive early so she could offer to help with the refreshments. King Gibbs was not much of a cook, and gladly accepted her offer. While his back was turned, Princess Abby carefully slipped something into two drinks and set each of them next to the nametags marked "Princess Kate" and "Prince Tony".

Everyone arrived in due time, and after the conference, King Gibbs served a complimentary dinner. But before anyone could reach for their forks, Princess Abby jumped in and asked for a toast. "A toast!" she cried and held up her cup. "A toast to King Gibbs. May he always be this grouchy and loveable!" Everyone laughed and shouted, "Here, here!" They clinked their glasses together and took a sip. Princess Abby watched Prince Tony and Princess Kate very carefully.

As soon as the said prince and princess put down their cups, Princess Abby leaned forward and asked Princess Kate, "So, we all know you hate Prince Tony. Why?" She said it in a friendly way, as not to provoke suspicion. The gathered people paused in their eating to listen. They were all a bit curious about the two.

Princess Kate blinked. Her face was a little flushed and her eyes seemed misty. "Well, truth is, I really don't hate him," she said. Princess Abby was laughing wildly inside. It was working, it was! Pretending to be surprised, she put on a shocked face, as well as everyone else in the room.

"I actually detest him!" Princess Kate continued. Princess Abby felt her heart pummel to the ground. The people around laughed. King Ducky opened his mouth to say something about how this reminded him of someone he knew in high school when Princess Kate laughed and placed a hand on Prince Tony (who somehow got to sit next to her)'s shoulder and grinned goofily at him. "Just kidding." Princess Abby's heart leapt for joy. The laughter around her stopped.

Prince Tony looked a little dazed but smiled back and nodded. Princess Kate stabbed some salad with her fork. "Who could hate him?" she asked the audience, pointing her forkful of salad at each person. "Not me."

"Oh I know I act like I hate him all the time," Here, Princess Kate gave a loud hiccup before continuing, " but he's too damn hot to be hated. I could just gobble him right up." The princess giggled and shoveled the salad into her mouth. "You know," she said, suddenly serious, "I sometimes wish that Tony would go around bragging about sleeping with me instead of those other bimbos."

King Duck and Gibbs were exchanging worried glances. Prince McGee (who looked suspiciously like Tim the fairy godfather) was staring at Princess Kate like she'd gone mad. Princess Abby was snickering quietly. Prince Tony was beaming at Kate. "You know how long I've _wanted_ to sleep with you?" His voice was strangely high.

Princess Kate hiccupped again. "Really?"

Prince Tony nodded eagerly. "I just never made a move on you because I thought you'd kill me for trying. You used to be just my partner, but one day I looked up and there you were. I thought to myself, 'God, when did she turn so hot?'"

Princess Kate giggled girlishly again and smashed her lips against Prince Tony's. At this point, everyone (including Princess Abby, who decided her plot had gone too far) scooted their chairs out and ran away.

No one knows what Princess Kate and Prince Tony did in the dining hall, but the dishes were all shoved off the table when King Gibbs finally ventured back. He immediately ordered the hall to be demolished and rebuild, claiming that it was "impure" now.

As for the prince and princess, they got married after realizing that they were in love and lived happily ever after.

THE END

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Kate Todd slammed her friend's notebook (which she had been reading secretly) shut and stormed off to find her. "ABBY!" she hollered. "What in the world is this?"

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For those of you who didn't get it, the story was in Abby's journal and Kate read it. Beer was in Kate's drink and Truth Powder was in Tony's. Kate hasn't drunk beer in the last 10 years, so a bit will do her in. (SHE WAS DRUNK WHEN SHE CONFESSED!)

REVIEW PLEASE!


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